Cortisol rising

>> Thursday, March 4, 2010

Guys! My friend Mark has a blog now. First entries are promising. Follow him!
And because he seems to think I'm too nice (???), I have here compiled a list of things I hate:

  • People who don't use coasters on wooden furniture. Maybe you hate my furniture, but I'd still appreciate it if you'd stop trying to ruin it.
  • Slow walkers who take up the whole sidewalk 
  • Groups of people who suddenly stop in the middle of the sidewalk / top of the stairs / entrance to the subway / etc.
  • Basically, anyone who is in my way and needs to get out of it.
  • People who claim they "can't do math" (yes, I say this. That's how I know how lame it is).
  • Self-righteous vegetarians / vegans.
  • Last-minute invites - sometimes ok, but most of the time I am already in my pj's and don't want to go out. Or I already have plans and then I feel badly saying so, because it sounds like an excuse! Stop making me feel bad just because you can't make plans!!!
  • Servers who tell you you should have asked them to split the bill before the meal. What a useful comment that is (especially when they give you attitude about it). Right, I can see how you'd reasonably expect one person to pay for these 5 people who are obviously unrelated and obviously not clients or employees.
  • Service people, in general, who have attitude problems. I have an attitude problem, too! But guess what: I don't work in the service industry. Idiot.
  • People who are always starting sentences with "let me be clear:..." Because it's obvious that they think they are incredibly intelligent (and probably think you are dumb). They are probably not that intelligent. You might be that dumb, though, I don't know.
And last, but probably the one that makes me rage the hardest:
  • People who ask questions that are easily answered with a simple google search. Especially if they ask the question while using the internet (via email, twitter, etc.) It would have cost you the SAME EFFORT to type the question into a search engine. But instead of doing that you expect someone ELSE to google it for you? Are you kidding me?? If you need directions and you're already en-route, then call me. If it's three days before the event, ask google. Otherwise you are getting a link to this: http://lmgtfy.com/. Remember: the Lord helps those who help themselves. And so do I.
Yes, I am concerned that I might have anger management issues. Why do you ask?

3 comments:

Ramk Chardri March 4, 2010 at 11:58 AM  

This post is long overdue. Now you can get back to your happy-clappy posts.

Huzzah! Liking The National a lot btw!

MB March 4, 2010 at 12:28 PM  

There's much to say about these but I'm going to withhold. Save for this story of someone stopping abruptly in front of me on the sidewalk.

The scene opens with me walking east on Front, newly-purchased, very full and very hot cup of coffee in hand. There's a middle-aged couple strolling along in front of me with a reasonable distance between us.

The male half of the couple, who I will only describe as a grey-haired dimwit, looks down and stops dead in his tracks. "My my my!" he says, as he bends over. I nearly trip over him, trying to avoid spilling coffee all over his stupid back, while he turns to his companion and says "I always pick up a penny! Good luck, you know." And she giggles.

I regain my composure and storm off, letting out a purposely audible "UGH". To which he calls out, "Sorry young fella!"

That's it. That is my story. And now I am angry about it all over again.

Citizen Alert March 4, 2010 at 2:38 PM  

What an amazing post for the Thursday. I believe Thursday is when all of the annoying things happen. People are way to excited for it to be Friday that they forget themselves. :-)

Great post!

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